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Just shut up, you self-obsessed whiny wastrels

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#shut #selfobsessed #whiny #wastrels

What are you most anxious about proper now?

The rocketing inflation that’s inflicting such monetary heartache for hundreds of thousands of households throughout America?

The horrible war in Ukraine that’s led to such devastating distress for the poor folks being terrorized by genocidal monster Vladimir Putin?

The lethal coronavirus pandemic nonetheless fueling a lot dying and torment?

Or maybe you’re reeling in shock and concern from the horrifying assault on a Brooklyn subway?

There are such a lot of issues to be genuinely involved about in our turbulent world.

However backside of my record, even perhaps decrease than that, is the state of Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s damaged marriage. 

I can actually say that the variety of f–ks I give about this shamelessly deluded and self-obsessed pair of whiny wastrels could possibly be written on the again of Mycoplasma genitalium, the planet’s smallest dwelling organism and, appropriately, a parasitic bacterium that lives in our waste disposal organs.

As Depp and Heard’s latest legal battle kicks off in a Virginia court docket, we’re as soon as once more being pressured to endure disgustingly ugly particulars of how a lot they hate one another and the way horrendously they each behaved throughout a relationship that even by Hollywood requirements was spectacularly terrible.

Depp’s suing Heard for $50 million over a 2018 op-ed article she wrote within the Washington Put up describing herself as a “public determine representing home abuse.”

She, in flip, is suing him for $100 million for being a liar.

And already, after simply in the future in what’s anticipated to be — God assist us all — a three-week trial, their authorized groups have hurled gigantic portions of verbal excrement over the 2 protagonists.

Johnny Depp leaves the Fairfax County Circuit Court after the first day in the lawsuit between him and his former wife, US actress Amber Heard, in Fairfax, Virginia, on April 12, 2022
Johnny Depp leaves Fairfax County Circuit Courtroom after the primary day within the lawsuit between him and his former spouse, Amber Heard, in Fairfax, Virginia, on April 12, 2022.
SAMUEL CORUM/AFP through Getty Photographs

In fact, we’ve already been by means of all this with their first court docket battle in London, the place Depp misplaced a libel case against the Sun newspaper for calling him a wife-beater.

My principal takeaway from that repellent orgy of relentlessly revolting mudslinging is that they’re mutually dreadful and must be prevented by future romantic suitors like a gazelle avoids a pleasure of ravenous lions.

The cost sheet of claims and counterclaims about their booze-sodden, drug-fueled fights featured partially severed fingers, “faked” or actual bruises, hair-dragging, “disco bloodbaths,” vodka bottles thrown like grenades, telephones being ripped off partitions, names written in blood on mirrors, canine dangled out of automotive home windows, tampon applicators used to snort cocaine, accusations of affairs and threesomes with billionaires and different stars, kicking on planes, and fixed foul-mouthed screaming at one another.

Amber Heard talks in the courtroom at the Fairfax County Circuit Court April 12, 2022
Amber Heard talks within the courtroom on the Fairfax County Circuit Courtroom on April 12, 2022.
Brendan Smialowski, Pool through AP

One evening, Depp had a livid argument with Heard at their LA dwelling after being instructed $750 million had disappeared from his funds, and somebody — he says her, she says a canine — defecated on their mattress.

This charming vignette was arguably the low level of their s–tty little marriage — although near that have been humiliating pictures of a growling, drug-ravaged Depp slumped on the ground with ice cream dribbling between his legs.

I might go on, as a result of there was a lot extra, and we’re now going to listen to it regurgitated another time this month, however I simply can’t be bothered.

Johnny Depp speaks to his attorney inside the courtroom at the Fairfax County Circuit Court, April 12, 2022, in Fairfax, Va.
Johnny Depp speaks to his lawyer contained in the courtroom on the Fairfax County Circuit Courtroom, April 12, 2022, in Fairfax, Va.
Brendan Smialowski/Pool Photograph through AP

Why gasoline this pathetic duo’s self-indulgent, attention-seeking bulls–t? 

Suffice it to say, by no means within the subject of present enterprise marital battle was a lot abuse meted out by simply two. 

Depp and Heard hate one another with a passion that makes Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt appear like an advert for loving concord.

On the coronary heart of this hatred lies one proven fact: They’re each supreme narcissists.

Actually.

Amber Heard looks on during Johnny Depp's defamation trial against her at the Fairfax County Circuit Courthouse in Fairfax, Virginia, U.S., April 13, 2022.
Amber Heard appears to be like on throughout Johnny Depp’s defamation trial in opposition to her in Fairfax, Virginia, April 13, 2022.
REUTERS/Evelyn Hockstein/Pool

In truth, medically and scientifically.

The Mayo Clinic identifies narcissistic persona dysfunction as a psychological situation by which folks “have an inflated sense of their very own significance, a deep want for extreme consideration and admiration, troubled relationships, and a scarcity of empathy for others.”

Is there any higher or extra correct strategy to describe Johnny Depp and Amber Heard?

Two Grand Canyon-size egos, used to getting their method, seemingly devoid of a single second’s caring thought for his or her partner, and united solely by a penchant for abuse — psychological and bodily.

Johnny Depp (C) is seen during the $50 million Depp vs Heard defamation trial at the Fairfax County Circuit Court in Fairfax, Virginia, on April 12, 2022.
Allegations of home abuse leveled in opposition to Jonny Depp by Amber Heard have had a “devastating” influence on his profession, his legal professionals stated Tuesday on the opening of the actor’s defamation case in opposition to his former spouse.
BRENDAN SMIALOWSKI/POOL/AFP through Getty Photographs

Now they’re each enjoying the sufferer at a time when there are hundreds of thousands of actual victims affected by conflict, a killer virus, and crippling rises in the price of dwelling. 

They need us to achieve into our hearts and really feel sorry for 2 stinking wealthy, breathtakingly spoiled actors when moms and infants are being bombed in maternity hospitals, refugees are being murdered by Russian rockets intentionally fired at them, and Holocaust survivors are being incinerated of their properties.

They need us to pity them because the US death toll from COVID-19 approaches 1 million folks, as strains at American meals banks attain file ranges, and as New Yorkers are being attacked on their commute by deranged lunatics with weapons and smoke grenades. 

Amber Heard listens in the courtroom during Johnny Depp's defamation case against her at Fairfax County Circuit Court, Virginia, U.S., April 12, 2022.
Amber Heard listens within the courtroom throughout Johnny Depp’s defamation case in opposition to her.
Brendan Smialowski/Pool through REUTERS

Effectively, forgive me if I decline that invitation.

I can’t consider anybody much less deserving of my sympathy than this grotesque twosome trapped in their very own pathetically delusional, horribly egocentric, toddler-tantrum world.

“I really feel so sorry for Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.”

Stated completely no person.