Murray Mandryk: Scott Cat had cheese for all in Mouseland this year

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A Mouseland Christmas: Primarily based on the unique fable by T.C. Douglas and up to date to mirror Saskatchewan politics in December 2022.

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Standing on the balcony of the Nice Marble Palace, Scott Cat heaved a block of cheese so far as he might.

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The Mouseland critters cheered wildly, so he hucked one other. And one other. And one other.

Meek or fierce, poor or wealthy, raw-boned skinny or plump like a body-shamed Christmas goose, quickly each Mouseland critter that gathered below their chief’s balcony this snowy Christmas Eve would get their cheese.

Rigorously measured in allotments of 500 mouse {dollars}, every bought the identical quantity — simply sufficient to make the poorest of critters really feel wealthy, however not so meagre that the fattest of Mouseland cats might merely ignore it.

However what fats cat has ever handed up any quantity of free stuff tossed out by somebody in authorities?

Scott Cat grinned from cat whisker to cat whisker, happy together with his magnanimous generosity as if that cheese he was tossing was his personal and never already collected from the poor critters struggling to warmth their dens or mild their lamps.

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Mouseland’s chief hadn’t felt this cheery shortly.

Flash again to final 12 months’s Christmas Eve  when all method of Mouseland critter have been protesting below his balcony  — some honking like deranged loons for locking down Mouseland to cease the illness whereas others have been shrieking at him like night time bats for not doing extra.

Many demanding he do extra have been mice, though mice have been offended at most all the pieces the cat authorities did. Largely, they have been simply offended as a result of it absolutely felt the cat authorities can be there endlessly. Poor Carla Mouse, the most recent mouse chief some noticed because the mousiest of the mice.

So that they protested, for what else might poor mice might do?  In spite of everything, typically being seen to be protesting was extra vital to a mouse than no matter concern it was they have been protesting about.

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Mouseland now brimmed with all kinds of other critters. There have been geese and chickens and gophers who tilled the soil and fiercely grumbled essentially the most concerning the white fluffy Persian cat named Justin who was taxing their gas, taking their weapons and — maybe worst of all — audaciously testing their water.

There have been bunnies who wore their hugs and coyotes and weasels who consistently lobbied authorities for extra cheese for fats cats. There have been turkeys and cows and donkeys nonetheless stubbornly braying about their freedoms and rights to horse vaccinations.

Critters from throughout God’s inexperienced Earth that had discovered a brand new dwelling in Mouseland. There have been even sightings of Loch Ness monsters who have been as fictitious as this kingdom.

In the event you stretched your creativeness to level that Scott Cat might the place he might see a nation inside a nation, you might need even seen dinosaurs strolling amidst the opposite critters this 12 months.

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And there have been cats. Tons and plenty of cats. Like Scott Cat, they have been now, all black cats who spent a surprisingly period of time hissing and clawing at every over who was actually the blackest. My, how black cats like to scratch and claw.

There had all the time been a variety of hissing cats in Mouseland, so named by an old church mouse named Tommy.  Tommy Mouse found there have been simply sufficient mice in Mouseland to kind authorities if the white cats and the black cats stored combating amongst themselves.

Nonetheless, about 25 years in the past, the white cats (such as they were) and black cats got together to kind the surprisingly named Mouseland Celebration. Then the black cats drove all of the white cats out of the get together.

Solely two white cats remained in Mouseland, though most believed they have been actually simply confused mice.

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Issues hadn’t all the time gone completely for Scott Cat within the 5 years since he changed the grinning cheshire cat, Brad, whose portrait now hung within the nice Marble Palace.

However this Christmas Eve, Scott Cat smiled at his bounty. The group cheered as he flung them one other block of cheese.

Mandryk is the political columnist for the Regina Chief-Submit and the Saskatoon StarPhoenix.

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