Rob Vanstone: Shabby New Year! Failed resolutions from 2022

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My New Yr’s decision for 2023 is to not make any New Yr’s resolutions.

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That could be a sound concept, contemplating the dearth of resolve that detracted from the previous 12 months of my existence.

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The painful actuality was underlined the opposite day, after I scrolled by means of the “resolutions” that were enumerated in this space one year ago.

To recap …

TO BE MORE PUNCTUAL

Largely a FAIL. I’m doing just a little higher, however a breakthrough is elusive. This column was written just a few hours after I confirmed up for a scheduled 1 o’clock haircut at 1:02 p.m.

TO SEE MORE OF SASKATCHEWAN

FAIL. I went to Regina Seaside twice and Indian Head as soon as. Waskesiu, which I’ve not visited since 1968, may as effectively be on Mars.

TO VISIT WASCANA TRAILS

Wascana FAILS. Perhaps this 12 months …

TO SHOP LOCAL

SUCCESS. Large enhancements in 2022.

TO SPEND ALL 365 DAYS WITH MY WIFE (CHRYSSOULA) AND OUR DOG (CANDY)

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FAIL, with a great excuse, however I nonetheless failed. I tapped out at 363. (I blame my godson, Eric Anderson, who had the audacity to get married in Kelowna.)

TO STOP MENTIONING MY DOG SO MUCH

TAIL … I imply, FAIL. She’s so cute! Who’s a great lady?

TO SEE/HEAR MORE LIVE MUSIC

Largely a FAIL. Does one live performance depend? The Glenn Miller Orchestra was terrific.

TO VISIT THE GYM MORE OFTEN

FAIL. A number of months have elapsed since I final had an indoor exercise. But, I’m nonetheless paying for a membership on a month-to-month foundation. Sound cash administration.

TO REDUCE DIETARY “CHEAT DAYS”

FAIL. Move the gravy.

TO BE MORE PATIENT

FAIL. I’m counting down the minutes till I can display extra endurance.

TO BE MORE CHARITABLE

SUCCESS. My donations to charity quadrupled compared to 2021. However I ought to nonetheless do extra.

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TO BE MORE ATTENTIVE

What’s that? Huh? Cease bothering me. FAIL.

TO IGNORE TWITTER TWITS/TROLLS

Principally a FAIL. I engaged with just a few mouth-breathers, thereby elevating my blood strain, till I received fed up and adjusted my notification settings. Copout.

TO DRAFT A DECENT FANTASY FOOTBALL TEAM

FAIL. As of this writing, I had a 1-12 report. Fortunately, the one victory was on the expense of Mitchell Blair. The aberration dates again to Week 9, when the decision was “Me 102.60, Him 89.36.” Thanks, Kenyan Drake (23.90 factors), Cooper Kupp (22.80), Mecole Hardman (16.90) and Kirk Cousins (for not doing a lot of something, however nonetheless being an enchancment over Russell Wilson).

TO GET A BOOK WRITTEN

SUCCESS! My tribute to hockey’s maskless-goalies era is to be revealed by Triumph Books within the fall.

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TO SPEND MORE TIME ON OUTDOOR RINKS (WINTER) AND BASKETBALL COURTS (SPRING/SUMMER)

Principally a FAIL. And whole FAIL. I’m a basket case.

TO GET MY SKATES SHARPENED

SUCCESS. Thanks to the good folks at Excessive Hockey and Sport, the place the barnacles have been miraculously faraway from a pair of skates that had not been sharpened since (this isn’t a lie) 2000.

(Impromptu decision for 2023: To get my wit sharpened.)

TO BE MORE ORGANIZED

FAIL. Work-wise, I’m obsessive about petty particulars. Trivia pertaining to my private life is left unattended till the threatening letters arrive.

TO STOP LOSING MY KEYS

FAIL. I vowed to place them in the identical place, each time. Bookshelf, second degree from the highest. Then I forgot the place I had put the bookshelf. Please assist me.

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TO REMEMBER WHERE I PARKED

FAIL. One time, I seemed for my automobile — ceaselessly — within the Southland Mall’s south parking zone. Then I spotted that the roadster was positioned within the Southland Mall’s north parking zone. (Dude, the place’s my automobile?)

TO RIDE MY BIKE FURTHER THAN I DID IN 2021

FAIL. I peddled 3,138 kilometres in 2021 and (sigh) 1,888km this previous 12 months.

TO WEAR MORE SUNSCREEN WHILE RIDING MY BIKE

FAIL. I’ll pay for this.

TO CURB THE KOBO BOOK ADDICTION

FAIL. I added a Kindle e-book dependancy to the Kobo e-book dependancy.

TO PHONE MY FRIENDS MORE FREQUENTLY

FAIL. My pals don’t appear to be dissatisfied, so we’re bordering on a cheerful ending.

So, what’s the closing tally?

FAILS: 16.

FALLS: 1 (I worn out on one event whereas skating at Iceville. Solely then did I resolve to get my skates sharpened. Lastly.)

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VIRTUAL FAILS: 4.

FOSTER FAILS: 1. (Sweet was a foster canine for much less time than it takes to finish this sentence. We liked her immediately.)

SUCCESS: 4.

The numbers are, effectively, numbing. They’re, in reality, an indictment of my life-style. Evidently, there’s a lack of psychological toughness. I have to do higher.

So why do I really feel unusually happy with all of it?

The reply is straightforward: I defeated Mitchell Blair in fantasy soccer.

(Rob Vanstone, who defeated Mitchell Blair in fantasy soccer, is the Regina Chief-Submit’s sports activities editor.)

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